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'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

Pie Filling Reader

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

Sober Tooth Tiger

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

"Nice sermon. Not too preachy."

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist pump."

I predict a huge fall followed by a lucrative job offer with a major cake baking company.

Protesting man's sign reveals that his credit has run out.

"Ninety days, catnip-free. I couldn't have done it without you."

End of world nigh!!!

The Circle.

"Then it's settled -- our strategy is to hope for better things."

European Stock Analyst

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

Fortune teller using a computer rather than traditional methods

Korney Ivanovich Chukovsky

Palm Top Readings

Alcohol and Tobacco Danger

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

Beggars on the street.

'I can see much grief, suffering and misfortune ahead - and you'll always be dogged by extremely bad luck - but, the good news is you're going to live to a very old age!'

"Any kind of election is getting harder to call these days. . ."

'What if we don't change at all ... and something magical just happens?'

'Your shares are doing well... No wait, they're falling, no they're rising, no falling and rising...'

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'