Sonographers Pillows

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

'Why don't you ever look at ME that way?'

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Jazz is Invented

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

Canadian film production

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

New music conference

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

Boy serenading a girl with a large amplifiers and speakers.

'From albums to 8-tracks to cassettes to CD's...What a long, loud trip it's been!'

'What luck! A sound technician.'

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

Tim Burton

"And the award for the best use of AI in a movie goes to..."

"All stories have been told, all songs have been sung. But that won't stop us from making movie reboots."

Kirsten Johnson

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"