Songwriting Stars Mugs

She doesn't like my song? All the kids LOVED it at Day Care!

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

Lennon and McCartney.

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Anna Calvi

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

George Michael

"This next one's another oldie."

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"That is an outrageous slur."

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

Michael Jackson

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

Bryan Ferry

New music conference

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

Guitar Man.

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"Can you forget about that damn moon for two seconds and lend me a hand with the harmony?"

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

Bashful in Nashville

"This next song is just a song. Try not to read anything into it."

"I can neither confirm nor deny what this next song is about."

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."