Songwriter At Heart Pillows

Thomas Dorsey.

'The Ants are my friends, they're blowing in the wind . . .'

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Lennon and McCartney.

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Anna Calvi

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

"This next one's another oldie."

George Michael

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"That is an outrageous slur."

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

Michael Jackson

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

Bryan Ferry

Guitar Man.

New music conference

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"Can you forget about that damn moon for two seconds and lend me a hand with the harmony?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny what this next song is about."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Bashful in Nashville