Song Stylist Pillows

Copenhagen Three Degrees.

"This is a cover of a song that was perfect in its original form. Apologies in advance."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Lennon and McCartney.

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Bad hair day!

Anna Calvi

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

"This next one's another oldie."

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

George Michael

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"That is an outrageous slur."

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Shoe addict.

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

Pampered and poodled.

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

Michael Jackson

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

Guitar Man.

Bryan Ferry