Song Stylist Pillows

"This is a cover of a song that was perfect in its original form. Apologies in advance."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Bad hair day!

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"That is an outrageous slur."

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

Pampered and poodled.

Shoe addict.

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

New music conference

Guitar Man.

Bryan Ferry

"I don't like your application."