Song Lyricist Pillows

"Yes, 'the lion sleeps tonight', I know the tune, but it means it's had a good feed during the day, which is not really a good thing..."

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

"That is an outrageous slur."

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

Bryan Ferry

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

"This next song is just a song. Try not to read anything into it."

Bashful in Nashville

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"I can neither confirm nor deny what this next song is about."

Blues artis's daily list

'He's working on a lullaby.'

The Work-from-Home-Polka

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Joe Henry

'My love is like a red red rose...'

"I always thought love made the world go round."

Modern Life Blues