Sonar Skeptic Pillows

'So who needs sonar?!'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

I.T. Fear

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

Privacy Conference Security

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

"Oh, this? It can access every piece of knowledge from the history of mankind and I hate it."

'If someone sent an email and the National Security Agency did not spy on it, would it still be an email?'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

"Our constantant surveillance indicates workers are becoming more paranoid."

Obama's surveillance of America.

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

A horse driving a Model T tows an Amish buggy.

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

'I can't believe that will get as good mileage as the foot.'

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

"Someone posted a picture of you working in the yard, so I knew right away it had to be a deepfake."

Twenty Blades Razor

'CIA Surveillance of my senate committee violates the fourth amendment...'

'This call may be monitored and added to our endless metadata for no apparent reason.'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

"No, your cats don't bother me. I work under constant surveillance at the office."

"As part of our new privacy policy we stopped using hidden cameras."

"Your calls may be monitored for training purposes..."

"Siri, are you out of your mind?!"