Software Tinkerer Pillows

"Now, remember...don't tell Daddy you designed the software he uses at work... I want him to get to know you first!"

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

Mac OS 20

Error 202: The cursor has left the screen.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

The Computer Bore

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Tool Box

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Drool Marks

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Painting the Ceiling

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Early cyborg.

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Gadget geek.

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

The Not-So Smart Meter