Software Optimist Pillows

'But I did study. I guess the software didn't install successfully.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

Upward Progress

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

Production: Urgent, Rush, Super Rush.

'I want to see more blue sky thinking.'

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

Sign - CAN DO "I like your attitude, Harris."

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

'These bitcoins things are backed by technology and the internet! What could possibly go wrong?'

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

'No good deed goes unpunished around here.'

To Stock Exchange

'-Must remember to empty that...'

I accidentally deleted your report, Bob. Figures. Coffee maker's broken, Bob. Figures. Forget those changes I asked you to make, Bob. Figures. Bob, your flight is at 5 a.m. Figures. I need you to stay late, Bob. Figures. No, Bob, your plan doesn't cover dental. Figures. It wasn't exactly the six0figures job that Bob had hoped for.

Nothing to Lose

"All of the economic indicators I've seen are pointing up."

"While we haven't actually achieved these results yet the existence of this chart demonstrates our preparation."

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'Give me a Y... give me an E... give me an S...

'Honey, this the start of a fantastic career! Lunchtime is over and I still haven't been fired!'

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

'There's always optimism with new management.'

'Way to go! You too, way to go!' It was true. They both had a way to go.

"You know me. Never criticize,always optimize. The eternal Ms. Masking Tape."

"Shouldn't be long before we're at the top."

'I just don't get it. The new motivational posters aren't helping at all!'