Software Development Pillows

Evolution.

"...and this is our Agile project!"

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

'He's an attorney. He came with the software package, to verify software licensing compliance.'

'Rather than learning how to solve that, shouldn't we be learning how to operate software that can solve that problem?'

'I'm a software engineer, so I can confirm it works by magic.'

"Or should it be scrum or kanban???"

'We'll have to take this one - he invented the software we're using to make the selection.'

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

Copyright and copyleft

'It just doesn't get any beta than this.'

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

'This damn ??,' - 'So that's computer language,'

'Can our software do that?'

"...Software upgrade provides a seamless transition from simple functionality to multi-platform confusion, chaos and frustration..."

'I've made an app that counts farts...'

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

'You'll have to excuse my date. He's still in beta.'

'Congratulations. Our employment application screening software was no match for your employment application submission software.'

'You want to discuss the glitches in the software I sent you? No, Tuesday's out - how about never - is never okay?'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"This program really isn't user friendly."

Project Manager Showdown

"I'm afraid a qualification from 'the university of life' doesn't get you very far in the software industry these days."

Free and Open Source Software.

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

"Little Joey invented the one-click rubout."

Open Source.

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

Beta testing childsplay

"Then on a lark, I made the foolish mistake of writing a program that did what I did."

"Enjoy it while you can, kid. It's a really short hop from 'Geek Genius' to 'Quasi-Creepy, Weird-Looking Old Rich Guy!'"