Software Designer Pillows

"I just sent you a friend request."

"Now, remember...don't tell Daddy you designed the software he uses at work... I want him to get to know you first!"

'Is that ACME recruitment... The software designer you sent me needs his mummy.'

Open Source.

"Tell me the one about the battle between Functional and Object-Oriented programming."

"It's an app called 'mom', it reminds everyone of their to-do lists."

Types of online-ing

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

'So you're my future son-in-law, Dan the software designer. Mother likes cashmere by the way.'

Restaurant Apps of the Deep

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

The Computer Bore

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

The DaVinci Code

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

Robotic Man

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

Evolution.

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'Can our software do that?'

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'