Software Analysis Pillows

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

The Computer Bore

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Reading my Critics

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

'You can drop all the hints you like, Jones. We're not buying you a computer.'

Driverless cars rage.

I.T. Fear

Computer Expert

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

Computer monitor for a head.

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

Six Thinking Hats

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

Hardware and software

Fixing the Computer.

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

Early Programmers.

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.