Sofa Sage T-Shirts

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

'She'll never look for me here.'

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

"Just think, someday we'll be considered 'retro'."

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

Flexible working

"You're dated look is an absolute tour de force."

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

Chillaxing!

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

"She died doing what she loved."

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

Worshiping the TV.

I'd say you've got assertivity issues

'When we got married, I said I'd move mountains for you...I never said anything about a sofa!'

Plein Air Painting: Quarantine Edition

"Meaning of life? Oh, you want my brother. Third mountain over on my right. Me, I'm just a hermit."

'Oh, Goddess of Fashion, speak to me!'

What can I get you? Something light but filling. Flavorful but not too spicy. Healthy but not boring. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Something right in the middle. Neither here nor there. It must walk the line of non-offensive yet opinionated. I wonder if Arby's is taking applications. If I eat a sandwich in the woods and no one is around, do I make a sound?

The Senior Citizen Surfer

Jesus Saves

"If you don't want to know the score..."

"Oh, it was awful. I had a horrible nightmare I was married to a ... never mind."

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."