Societal Changes Gifts

Smoking Cessation Clinic - Formerly The Pub.

"It was messed up. Everybody was wearing masks", "Hmmm." / "It was messed up. Nobody was wearing masks.", "Hmmm."

After 15 years Mike was released

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

The International and May Day Terrorism

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

That party went well.

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

Horse statue throws off rider.

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

Most valuable element.

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

"Sorry I'm late. Traffic was fine. I just don't like any of you and don't want to be here."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Don't you hate...

'Social and political revolution? Check out our 'Do It Yourself' section.'

"Welcome."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"I'm not ready to put you on my favorites contact list, but I will add you to a group text."

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

To-Let Town Centre Map

"What I mean is what do you do with yourself all day?"

'Are you two friends?' - 'No, we just hate the same people.'

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

"Don't ask, don't tell, don't give a crap - that's my contract with America."