Socially Conscious Sibling Pillows

"Well they look pretty undocumented to me."

At the Museum

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Boy and Bear and Monster

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"Better luck next time, kid."

The Charge of the Kids

I think you meant to huff 'n' puff at the next house over.

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

A balloon vendor hands a child his only 'good' face out of many,less than desireable faces.

"I don't get it either, but my mom keeps telling me to hang up the phone, so I do it to make her happy."

Authorization for the Use of Farce

'I've been watering myself by taking showers. How come I'm not growing as tall as your plants?'

Fade to black...

"Technically, He's supposed to generate more energy than he uses."

The Election Strategy

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

'The real story behind the Princess and the Pea.' A queen saying to a little girl eating, 'Eat all your peas or else you'll have to put them under your mattress.'

Statue of Christopher Columbus

Look out, you're sitting on a worm!

Lesser Known Historical Figures: The Steno at the First Thanksgiving Dinner.

Trump Memorial

Four balloons

'...and it absolutely must be assembled!'