Social Superstar Gifts

'Nobody likes me at school. I need a personal assistant, a trainer and a P.R. firm!'

"What's the fun of smelling the Bougainvillea in paradise if I don't smell the envy on Facebook?"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

Superheroes take a selfie

Obsession with the Internet.

"I, TikTok."

"Everybody gets a raise."

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

Sistine Selfie

Elephant ass selfie.

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

"Love the bag, Stell! Very career."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"Influence this."

Bluesky helicopter evacuation from X

"Since I became a creator on social media, fridge displays seem so passé."

Creativity 2.0

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

Modern Narcissism

"Should we take pics of our feed for Instagram?"

"Now, is this the kind of painting your Mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

"There was a time when I used to instil absolute terror into everybody..."

Studying and technology

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.