Social Skills Aficionado T-Shirts

"Ms. Sims and I have known each other for quite some time, but it turns out we aren't on a first-name basis."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"So, what do you do for play?"

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

"I know - it takes skill to sneak a peek at their tiny tags when you can't remember their names."

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

Girl who had a bowl of trifle spilt over her dress at her court presentation party the night before

"I think it’s time we started holding other kids’ hands."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"This one? This one? Listen, make up your mind, or I;m picking out a flea for you."

Ouija Bored

"Come on Hugh, you know you have to wallow in the mud hole before sitting down at the table."

"I would share, but I'm not there developmentally."

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

Yossi's mother couldn't understand why he was struggling socially.

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

"I just don't know if I have the energy to meet new people."

I knew a guy who was born with a sidelong glance. . .

"The apes accepted you, but my sister's a whole other story."

"Are you talking to me?"

'I'd like to discuss your child's inability to interact with other children around him.'

"It's context aware, so it can tap your wrist when you're about to put your foot in your mouth."

"You're a people pleaser. We could work on that, but then no one would like you."

'Oh, please and thank you work okay, but I miss the old days as a baby when a blood-curdling shriek could get immediate service.'

"Waiter, our son is a tasteless schmuck!"

"My super powers are listening and downsizing my life."

"It's our third date, can we look at each other now?"

Eye contact zone next 50 feet.

"I'm not used to communicating face-to-face. Can we conduct this interview via text?"

'The problem with being a hermit crab is that I lack social skills...'

"He works and plays well with others."

"Mum says I've got to thank you if you gave me anything."