People Skills Aficionado T-Shirts

'Relax. They hired me for my people skills.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

Corporate Whore.

Monday around 9PM.

Female business.

Desk shaped like an office block.

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

Harp Concerto for Four Hands and Ladder

'He was always too busy to sit for his portrait.'

'What a control freak!'

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

Desk bins: Pretend it's not here, Hope it goes away, Delegate it.

'Sub lease' and 'Executive suite' putting money into a smug piggy bank

'Corporate Sydney'

'We only have a few rules around here, but we really enforce them.'

'Oh bugger cramp!'

"You like to take credit for other people's successes, and blame others for your mistakes. Woodly, you have management potential!"

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

First-Customer-Earned

"It needs a lot of editing."

The Movers - Decluttering

"Keep your shape at the back...."

'Having done the mentoring skills questionnaire I think I need a mentor to mentor me in improving my mentoring.'

"Today's meeting is about meeting to plan a meeting to arrange a meeting about managing our meetings."

'I'm here to help, you can tell me anything in complete confidence Jane, Jill...whatever your name is!'

"Nice and simple. The way a family leave policy should be."

'Whine, whine, whine!' You know what your problem is, Baxter? You're not a team player!'