Social Norm Humorist Pillows

No smoking.

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

"I feel like such a failure...I'm almost thirty five and I should be on husband number two, and starting my third career choice by now!"

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

"Sorry, these are saved."

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

Sign Reads: Loiter At Your Own Risk.

"Hey, you can't cut in line like that! - Who do you think you are?"

'I pronounce you Wife and Man...'

"You mind if I smoke?"

"We've been trying on religion to see if it fits, and it does."

'We've decided to give the baby a great start in the job market by naming him Doctor.'

"Since you don't know how to play house, you can be the dad."

"You've had to be kind to survive, and I've had to be nasty."

'What are they all staring at - have I got two heads or something?'

'Naughty or nice? - I suppose you mean by White male standards, right?'

"No you weren't disturbing us, we were just having sex."

Male nudist whistles at a woman in a bikini.

"The point is, Hutchens, a younger man could jump higher."

Woke Christmas - Consent form hanging next to a bunch of mistletoe.