Social Media Satire Lovers Pillows

"Marc Antony defriended me! I want to die." "There's an asp for that."

"You know, there are other emojis."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

The Proust of Twitter

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

'Twitter for goldfish.'

In my day, they didn

"Bless, Poppy's first tweet!"

"Fact amnesty"

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

Social media and censorship...

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

'Do you mind if I share your post on my wall?'

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

'So, summing up: we 'like' you and you 'like' us.'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

'Before each of you is a video camera. In the event I do something that could go viral...'

Thracebook..

Blues for now.

"Gramps, you were alive before everyone knew what you were doing on social media... What was that called?" "Bliss!"

Facelook

"You can find me on Inkedin."

Rudy, from now on I'm going to answer all employee requests through Twitter. Publicly? Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. That's right. If you have a valid request, you should have no problem with the entire world hearing it. Now, what was that again about you needing time off for a proctology appointment? Never mind. Hold on ... composing a tweet ... How do you spell "polyp" again?

"Instagram . . . weAPPon of mass distraction."

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

'I believe in the free enterprise system. I haven't paid for anything in the past 27 years...'

Extinction events

"This is what I use for social media."

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

An animal has attacked a child. It's very important to the world that you immediately express a bad opinion online.