Social Media Mavericks T-Shirts

"Visit us on spacebook."

'He googles you. That's how God knows everything about you.'

Lynching on social media

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

Selfie Stick

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Elevator Pitch

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

So that's it? I've tweeted a risque photo of my bicep. What happens next? We wait for the outpouring. I'm ready. Bring on the outrage. C'mon media! Let's hear your disgust that some old man would brazenly send such a lascivious photo. Then, with the world looking at me, I'll astound them with my idea of a universal health care system! Wait. Wait. Not yet. it's time for my first nap of the day. Can we do this later? What? Zzzzz. Best way for this to end.

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

"Eye of Newt, wing of bat, let's instagram it!"

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

'My market doesn't understand me.'

'No-one buys these stylish frames for their eyes, usually it's for their Facebook photo's.'

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

'Lucky for us, there's a sucker born every minute.'

You trip on it, you buy it.

Like.

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

"Remember, Katie, genius is 10% inspiration and 80% media manipulation."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

Entertainment systems

'Hey! We've never tried a 'pity' strategy before...'

"Looks like he's coming around to our way of thinking."

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"