Social Media Butterfly Pillows

"Sorry, guess I didn't get the email, the DMs, the Snaps, the Facebook comments, the LinkedIn messages, or the TikTok duets."

"He's not in today. You can email, comment on his blog, tweet him, leave a voicemail or contact him on Facebook. I can't take a message. That's above my payscale."

'Gentlemen, our social media strategy is simple: the more time our marketeers spend on Twitter, the less harm they can do elsewhere.'

'My laundry just sent me a friend request.'

Paranoia vs Social Currency.

Gettysburg Address, "Now can we have it as a sound bite ?"

"The National Weather Service is warning these areas to brace for what could be a crippling amount of Instagrammed snow photos."

Baby Mobile

' . . . We're releasing you into the wild so that you fly free, my young eaglet. Don't forget to tweet.'

'What do you mean, I have no social skills? I'm on myspace, linked in, facebook and twitter!'

'No, grandma, hashtags are not something you order with eggs.'

Meet Mr. Twitters.

"A bunch of friends are coming over to stare at their phones."

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

'No.'

"Anyone following me on Twitter already knows what I did this past summer."

You can also follow me on social media websites.

Multitaskers Anonymous: We're All Mostly Listening

'You know, it's a lot easier to just follow me on twitter.'

'I wish my wife wouldn't phone to call me egotistical when I'm taking a selfie.'

Internet Addiction

'My life is an open Facebook.'

'Please don't judge me by my youtube videos!'

'I understand some of you have 'liked' our opponents on facebook.'

"Hi - I'm one of your facebook friends."

'I haven't been in any academic journals but I do get my Tweets re-Tweeted a lot.'

'Are you following my tweets?'

"Am I a slave of social media? Nooo.....Just got to check this last message..."

"I think the answer is yes, but first let me get some social validation."

'We weren't compatible. I'm all Facebook while he's so Myspace.'

Facebook.

"Blah! Blah! Blah!" say sheep.

'Yes, I do like you but in a 'Facebook like' way.'

"He's taking selfies again. More anesthesia!"

Why I Liked Your Tweet: An Infographic