Social Manipulator T-Shirts

"White chocolate mocha, please." "Just the drink? Or the combo?" "What's in the combo?" "You get the white chocolate mocha, plus a ham sandwich, plus a bag of chips, for $17." "Seems pricy." "Of course. That's why I only recommend our premium combos to people who can afford them." "One look at you and I could tell you're a man of means. You walk with such swagger -- such regal elegance." "I wasn't wrong about you, was I?" "Give me two combos." "Just two?" "Very. Bad. Man."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'Tell them there'll be no retaliation, then check with the chiefs of staff, the media and our major allies what leeway we have in the adapted dissuasion department.'

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'Do you still wonder how Kevin got his promotion to VP?!'

'Hey! We've never tried a 'pity' strategy before...'

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

"I know - it takes skill to sneak a peek at their tiny tags when you can't remember their names."

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

"The apes accepted you, but my sister's a whole other story."

Why are you here?

'It's okay guys! Come on in,the coaster's clear!'

The Icebreaker

"Someday all these anonymous accounts will belong to shell companies of which you will deny all knowledge."

Will Make You Sick So You Can Go Home.

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."

'You're in Gallery Two... right, see you in the bar.'

'How do you do? I'm your wife's husband by a previous marriage.'

The Forgotten Men's Club

'A spin doctor just isn't enough any more, Senator - you need a choreographer.'

Hypnotherapy: prices subject to change without conscious notice.

"Here's your words for today ladies."

'He's been trying to control the television for years.'

'I'm in P.R. This is where I keep the spin.'

"Of all the lazy, lowdown, deadbeat, pathetic losers you've ever met who had the most influence on you?"

'Well I'd love to stay and chat, but this is one of those 'get things done' days.'

Sally, Jim - you'll handle daily speech writing. Vince, as usual, will be in charge of attack ads.'

Conversation Pits

Running on Empty

'It might help with our friends in the media if you hang that upside down.'

"Awkward..."