Social Interactions Pillows

"Oh, I see you're busy, so I'll keep talking."

'Fred always makes a poor first impression ? he says it saves a lot of time.'

Nobody likes a detached retina.

'DO me a favor. Don't keep saying 'Hi. How's it going?' whenever you swim past me.'

'Mom, you didn't say please or thank you.'

'I'd like to see you in my office, Brenda.'

"Typical! The Joneses are the first people in the close to get the flu."

'...Sars virus? - no, he just stinks.'

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

A group of women concerned about a priest climbing a ladder

"Every time he elbow bumps me, he hits my funny bone on purpose."

"...You don't look a day over 50 million!"

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"That man who tells those corny long-winded jokes you pretend to laugh at is here."

'But you told me to bring a friend!'

'In my little case I have something her next door reckons you can never afford!'

"I can't approve of your office gossiping, Frank...and after you tell me the latest I want it to stop!"

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

"So there I was, alone in the restaurant, when this girl asked if I was single. I said 'yes' then she took away my extra chair."

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

"Any of you pretty ladies just get my e-mail?"

Mall Talk

"I'd never say this if Matt weren't in a text trance, but I'm having a fling with our FreshDirect guy."

"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"

"I appreciate the overture, Nick, but I'm trying to cut down on after-work cocktails with Mr. Wrong."

"Funny, you don't look hawkish."

"Don’t take it personally, Ed. Your wife told me I was a terrible kisser, too."

"She likes you."

"I just had a great idea! Instead of having dinner with your mother tonight, let's not have dinner with your mother tonight!"

"Call me!"

"Here's Lori's black bean soup, but I'll need the container back — my mother-in-law's ashes were in it."

"Hold on, Charles, let me pretend like I’m going to get that."

Deafening slurping.