Social Interaction Ponderer T-Shirts

"Oh, no! Here comes a guy on a motorcycle! Should I give him the 'low wave'? Is the 'high wave' too effeminate? Am I allowed to wave if I'm on a scooter? What if I wave and he ignores me?! This is bad..."

'Of course working in a 'Virtual Firm' does have it's drawbacks...'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

That party went well.

"Needs to get a life"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

Max Weber

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

I see

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Caption Contest TK

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

Are these sessions as soul-deadening for you as they are for me, doctor? Let's not have a contest, Al. Or, if we do, no wagering.

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Johnny and Moloch

Jealousy

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

"I utilize the best from Freud, the best from Jung and the best from my uncle Marty, a very smart fellow."

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'

"If I can control everyone around me it would help my damaged self esteem."

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

The Collective Unconscious