Social Hierarchy Savants Pillows

"So long, Bill. This is my club. You can't come in."

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"Now the geeks hold all the power. They're the ones who know how to forge a parent's e-signature."

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

'Apologists today said little white lies -- but not the big lie -- may have played a part in Iraq Policies....'

Illogic Tree

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

"I sense a lot more going on with you than 'house-husband."

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

"It's not carrots but the love of carrots that's the root of all evil."

The breakup

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

Failure is no an option: "I'd now like to speak on the topic of government bailouts!"

American Roulette

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

Let's tell the folks in the Garlic Belt there's no budget for steps 2 and 3.

The Good Breathing Guide

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

'We need to change our marketing strategy.'

Office of the PR of the United States

'Marketing reports they're fooled all of the people all of the time.'

"Oh! I thought that was our party manifesto..."

'Sales are up 12% since we moved Recovery over here to the hospital gift shop.'

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'

"Those are all my passwords."

"I'm going to use Aversion Therapy. Get better or pay me $300 an hour."

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."