
". . . and then I says to the guy, 'how 'bout I pop you in the nose?' and then he goes. . ."
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". . . and then I says to the guy, 'how 'bout I pop you in the nose?' and then he goes. . ."
Frankly, I don't mind my husband spending time in bars: As long as they're Monkey-Bars of course...
"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"
"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"
Dog Park / Cat Park
"Welcome aboard. We will endeavor to treat you with dignity and respect. Now get you and your stupid face out of my office."
"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."
'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'
Glance Exchange
"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."
Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!
"Great coffee, Carole."
The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'
"What are you doing?"
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"
"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"
"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."
"God help us, it's that guy."
"I pick up on people's pain, Alexander. What's wrong?"
The Exhibition at the Royal Academy
Millionaire trapped in the body of a bum. Please help correct the situation. ?
"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."
Nervous at a party.
"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."
French beggars (the one with a 'Merci mille fois' sign has the most money).
"He claims to be self aware but he clearly can't read a room."
If I have to eat another mouthful of that sludge I'm gonna puke...
People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten
"I keep reading all these stories about virtual reality nookie."
"Do you remember when families used to get together and fight at Christmas?"
"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"
'Boy, look at his personal space!'
"I'm enjoying kindergarten except for all the politics!"
Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious
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