Social Dilemma Strategist Gifts

"I wish I'd been invited to all these parties before I discovered the joys of staying in."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

Desert Island Mishap

"Now remember, if I jump out the window, I want to leave."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

Frankenstein's monster picking out his brain for the day.

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

'Are you two friends?' - 'No, we just hate the same people.'

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'Oh hey Rhonda, whatcha doin?'

'Dinner for two, table for seven.'

Why are you here?

"Agreed then-I won't network you if you don't network me."

Investments: We have socially correct stocks, but 'wrong' usually pays better.

Boss with Angel and Devil on his shoulders - 'They're not employees, but we do have a symbiotic relationship.'

"McNab here is with our consensus engineering department."

"Okay, so we all agree to support your father's run for office even though his ideas are bats**t crazy."

"We'll see about that! Let me give it a whack!" "Now that's a tough nut to crack!"

"If they find out I'm a flight attendant pretend a heart attack so we can leave early."

"Remember, son, keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and anyone who says 'Beer me' as far away as possible."

"Why don't you try THIS instead?"

"I just feel like it's important NOT to make good eye contact when communicating."

"I'm going to write you a prescription for new friends."