Social Conventions Pillows

"Women kiss women good night. Men kiss women good night. But men do not kiss men good night – especially in Armonk."

Birthday Card Repeats

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"Check it out! The big Comic-Con starts this week!"

Science fiction fans on other planets

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Hold on, that's my Mom dressed up like 'Xena, Princess Warrior'....real mature, Mom!"

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"You're not a real fan. You're just dressed up like a slut for attention."

2016 election squabbles!

"This is crazy! We've been here only 10 minutes, we've spent all our money, and we've got nothing to show for it!"

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

Count on the People

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

'Pick a business card.'

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

"Psychiatric convention"

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

Star Wars convention...

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

'Now don't forget what I told you - no touching!'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

Comic-Con 2013

'Now that I'm retired, I have time for state and national meetings, but I no longer need the information.'

"What can I say - it turs out wheels were a social construct all along."

43rd Annual Doctors Convention