Soccer Parents Gifts

"This is the fist time I've ever seen a tech support number of a soccer ball."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

Futsal

'We just figured that with the kids travelling so much for soccer, it made more sense to sell our house and get an RV.'

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

Baby Footballer

Soccer Moms

'I'm all the athletic support my son will ever need!'

'How about wearing a limo driver's cap when taking me to practice?'

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

'I wasn't going to miss our game just because my wife landed me with junior. Besides, he's a great caddie.'

'And this one is for getting them to every one of their practice sessions in the 2008 season.'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

'And then Mindy had the nerve to call me a 'helicopter mom.' Me? In this wonderful jetpack! As if!'

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

"Dr. Behan?! Congratulations! It's a Boy!!!"

Things Your Mother Would Never Let You Do Olympic Games

'I think Kenny's finally accepted fatherhood - he said he was off to play football with the kids.'

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

It's just a bad bruise. Field hockey balls can do damage. We'll have the doctor take a quick look. Quick?! It's rush hour! We're moving fine. Just wait. It's the 4:45 pm fall sports traffic jam. Next # 147. The doctors are: In out in in.

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

'Get back to your seat, Mom. I can handle this.'

"So your soccer team lost...big deal! I lose things all the time!"

Another Rugby Star is Born.

"I am standing up straight."

I hope you brought enough beer boxes for all the dads.

'Have you ever seen that TV ad, 'Help, I'm sitting around gossiping and can't shut up', Timmy?'

Thank you for not smacking