Soccer Nut Pillows

'No I won't kiss it better!'

Football club

Fly Football

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Ball as water-melon.

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Remarkable run-ups 1890-1940

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

Egyptian Football

Centaur Forward

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

Watching the football.

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Men can show their emotions!

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'I take it tonight's game has been postponed.'

The commentators want to run the officials...

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Football

'Hey,come on SIMON, DON'T go all shy now. It's not everyday you get the chance to meet your favourite Footballer in the flesh...'