Snowfall Strategist T-Shirts

"If they want a snowball fight, then I'll give them one."

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

'Every time we clear all the snow another blizzard hits. We're cursed men Frank. Cursed!'

"Can you remember the general shape of our car?"

Snow Plow Driver Relaxing at Home.

'I blame Iceland - it's PAYBACK!'

'I'll take ten, please.'

Business cartoon showing a business man headed toward 'blame'.

Honey, can you see the Olympic Village from up there?

'And it continues to fall! This is the big chill! The wintery whiteout! The new Ice Age! Snowageddon!'

'Removal sounds politically incorrect.'

"Remember you making fun of me for using a litter box? Well, good luck going outside now that it's freezing out."

'War is heck!'

Sales chart shows sales going downhill.

SNOW WARS: The fight-back

With the Latest Snow and Frigid Cold Things to Consider . . .

"Take it easy! Thinking snow doesn't mean necessarily mean wanting snow!"

"Too bad leaves can't replace salt for the roads each winter. It would save us a ton of money."

'Want to have a snow ball battle?'

Woman tries to pray for the rain to end.

"Oh no ... I'll never lose any weight this way."

"But heat rises, so it's cold down here."

"It's a bit derivative."

'To prepare for our hostile takeover, Bentley here, has arranged for us to have an old-fashioned snowball fight.'

Where's your dad's car? Under this snow bank.

"Your snow fort may be bigger, but mine comes with all the technology of a smart home."

"How about all my desserts for a week, and I take out the garbage?"

Winter shopping

"Whoa! You must have eight rugs on! How's that feel? Are you warm enough?"

Escape plans at a snow cone farm.

Lie down - have a rest.

Man snow blowing dog toys in winter

Health food - salt substitute

"The shovel's just a prop. I contract out the actual snow removal."