Sniper Sympathizer Pillows

Chris Kyle

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"I'm the bad guy..."

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

'Daddy, you and Bobby will have lots to talk about...he's a professional sniper, too.'

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

'...at least it's done something for our image.'

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

"Well, you're not itsy-bitsy to me."

Know Your Level

"I've been evicted."

'It's always so sad when they repossess.'

'I actually find my Ghillie Suit a better camouflage option than my stripes...'

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

Cupid hits the shooting range target with arrows

The Downside Of Being Superman, The Man Of Steel

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Oh, it's only you."

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

I told you not to text and spin, Simone.

"I keep climbing this water spout. The rain washes me out. Then out comes the sun and dries up the rain. So what do I do? I climb right back up again. Talk about a rut."

"Bloody satellites..!"

Sauron's Sore Eye

"If you look carefully through this beaker of oil everything looks so much better..."

'Flamin' tourists...'

'Congratulations to Sniper Harris on winning Best Floral Arrangement...'

and WHAT is this thing stuck in my back garden..?

"Lighten up, pal, it's only a spider!"

Football Sisyphus

Military man plays music as a sniper rifle.

"Apparently they come into houses to find a mate."

'So, I understand you were a sniper in the service.'

Cartoon showing a man wrapped in a web, stuck to a wall. His wife is saying: "What have I told you about antagonising the house spider?"

"The only planet within a radius of 8975 light years . . . you're simply unable to back into a parking space!"

"He's angry about getting old."