Sniper Sympathizer Pillows

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"I'm the bad guy..."

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

'Daddy, you and Bobby will have lots to talk about...he's a professional sniper, too.'

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

'...at least it's done something for our image.'

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

"Well, you're not itsy-bitsy to me."

"I've been evicted."

'It's always so sad when they repossess.'

'I actually find my Ghillie Suit a better camouflage option than my stripes...'

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Oh, it's only you."

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

and WHAT is this thing stuck in my back garden..?

Sauron's Sore Eye

'Flamin' tourists...'

"If you look carefully through this beaker of oil everything looks so much better..."

"Bloody satellites..!"

"Lighten up, pal, it's only a spider!"

"Apparently they come into houses to find a mate."

Military man plays music as a sniper rifle.

Cartoon showing a man wrapped in a web, stuck to a wall. His wife is saying: "What have I told you about antagonising the house spider?"

Football Sisyphus

'So, I understand you were a sniper in the service.'

"The only planet within a radius of 8975 light years . . . you're simply unable to back into a parking space!"

"He's angry about getting old."

"Another self-build. . ."