Snek Fan Gifts

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

Bowled over again!

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

The Statue of Liberty: A Journey Fan

"I've invested in property..."

'Filby, we've decided to accept your suggestion for air conditioning!'

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."

'Everyone's in a rush these days!'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

The Reaper's Arms

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

"Do you want fries with that?"

'I think he wants you to play ball!'

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

Centaur Sprinter

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

"I wish you wouldn't keep going 'Vroom, Vroom'!"

"How much longer are you going to be?"

"Well, the census results are out, but a footnote says that the sheep count is probably inaccurate as the auditors often found themselves getting drowsy..."

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

'Let her go, Mary! She was probably just kidding about your leaping ability.'

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

'I give you an inch, Stanley, and you take a MILE. Whatever a mile is?'

"The big difference between Halloween and Day of the Dead...is we look at the afterlife as a reason to celebrate...not to scare anyone."

Snake pulls prank posing for photo

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

"No more ice cream cakes."

Snakeboarding.

"I've just been gazumped!"

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.

"Whose great idea was the four four two formation."

Anglers' shop notice - Gone for a bite.

Snail with lots of shells says: 'I've extended as far as possible, so there was nowhere to go but down.'

"No, I don't recycle."

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."