Snarky Straw Slinger Pillows

The plastic straw-extended version

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

The Snarky District

Oz Debating Society. You can't refute everything I say just by call it a "straw man" argument.

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

'No need to shout.'

"Practicing my hate-face."

'That pretty much kills my appendicitis diagnosis.'

Art Gallery.

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

"Why don't you take off early today? Don't forget to pack up your desk...."

"No, the guy who had this job before me didn't retire - he escaped."

"That outfit is a nasty mix of stripes and patterns."

"You're getting too much fiber."

"Yes, your work does speak to me and it's telling me you can't paint."

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

"This party was really dragging before Crazy Straw showed up."

"We should get together sometime and pee on things."

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

"I warned you, Silvia, all 8 foot lizard creatures are the same."

Wii Childbirth

I've started so I'll finish...

"I've always feared this day would come. I'm running out of snarky replies."

"Do you guys know how lucky you are to have a big house that's not too big?"

Clowns tending lawn.

Unfortunately, Michael's 'wine straw' invention never really caught on.

"my people are like 70 in human years."

"Just a sec honey...Mommy has to cut this up into little pieces, so the vacuum can pick it up easier."

'Well **** the **** and his ****. . . Sorry, I have one of our mouths.'

Wine with a straw

"I broke him, but now he wants to pursue a career in standup."

"The house next door is similar to this one but not quite as grand."

"Ladies and gentleman of the jury, I ask you, is this the straw of a sane man?"

"There's a lot of back stabbing going on in this company."