Snarky Humor Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Every few years, Gordon and the TV get a couple of inches wider."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

Trappist Monk Discord

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

HELLth Food Sprouts

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

'If I believed in aptitude tests I'd still be washing cars in Accrington,.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

The Thinker. The Listener

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

Crime in bookshop

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

Men Working Things Out

Clone Factory

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Inactivists"

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

Pokemon Get Lost

'Remember, repeated failure... is no guarantee of eventual success!'

"Oh, just the usual here, occupying Wall Street."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

"Wow! Check out the moon."

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

"As I understand, we stop refugees making dangerous journeys to a safe countey and offer them safe passage to a dangerous one..."

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

Trump Tariffs