Snake Socialite T-Shirts

'Well, your scales are flaking and it looks nasty, I'm trying to get you to shed before my parents come over tonight to meet you.'

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

The Music Critic.

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

Indian snake charmer charms a snake.

A day at the races

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Dog Teenagers

Snake Dress-Up

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

'Hmm, the snake's hissed off.'

"Your party just totally blew us away."

"Nooo. Not my legs."