Snake Socialite T-Shirts

'Well, your scales are flaking and it looks nasty, I'm trying to get you to shed before my parents come over tonight to meet you.'

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

Children's Party

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

The Music Critic.

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

'In just six hours you will be simultaneously cured of your fear of snakes, heights, small spaces and commitment.'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

Indian snake charmer charms a snake.

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

A day at the races

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Dog Teenagers

Snake Dress-Up

'Hmm, the snake's hissed off.'

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"Nooo. Not my legs."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"I keep telling her she should do something with her stupid little online pieces."