Snail Charmer Pillows

"Gerald and I are partial to the odd strawberry, so if you can find time to plant some, that would be absolutely wonderful."

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

Wordplay: Gastropod.

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

'Look what I've got, Dad - Can I keep it?'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

"Charming, absolutely charming."

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'Do you mind!!?'

"Here's the deal, throw me back and I won't text your boss telling him you called in sick to fish."

Snake Eyes

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

Snail Man

'What did St. Patrick have against snakes?'

'Stop whispering in my ear, it tickles!'

Snake reads the book The Taming Of The Shrew.

Photobooth Photobomb

"I'm a monster."

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

While at the Zoo, Victoria gets an idea.

'...and then the bad woman gave the snake the apple, and that's when our problems began.'

Singer in a boat disturbing the fish.

'Stress'

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

The Music Critic.

Snail Mail

'Well of course there are no snakes, have you not heard of St Patrick, at all, at all?'

Snake Charming

Rattlecornsnake