Snail And Slug Charmer T-Shirts

Organic gardening

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

Wordplay: Gastropod.

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'Look what I've got, Dad - Can I keep it?'

"Charming, absolutely charming."

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

Slug Bait- snails love it

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'Do you mind!!?'

Snake Eyes

Snail Man

'What did St. Patrick have against snakes?'

Snake reads the book The Taming Of The Shrew.

'Stop whispering in my ear, it tickles!'

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

While at the Zoo, Victoria gets an idea.

'Well of course there are no snakes, have you not heard of St Patrick, at all, at all?'

'Stress'

Snake Charming

Snail Mail

'...and then the bad woman gave the snake the apple, and that's when our problems began.'

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

Rattlecornsnake

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

'You're gonna love it son! We'll leave our homes for a few days and live in the great outdoors'

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

'I've tied a knot to remind you to feed him.'