Snack Monster Gifts

'A dozen bagels, please. For here.'

Parisian man eating pastries

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Hungry child

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Super Heroes.

Honest Vending

Love is when you watch television together.

"The bagels are better in New York."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

Stupid Microwave

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

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