Snack Machine Connoisseur Gifts

'Though we have to lay you off, our severance package - a carton of macaroni and cheese and a voucher for $25 at the snack machine - should help.'

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Bowled over again!

Rage.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Hungry child

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

Super Heroes.

Love is when you watch television together.

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Trail mix?"

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

Love is when you watch television together.

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary