Sms Sender Pillows

'If they install word recognition software in my texting program, I wouldn't have to know how to spell or read. Ain't technology great?'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

I can't smile without you...

"Okay lets go. You can message your friends after dinner."

A man on a desert island writes 'Have a nice day' in glass bottles repeatedly.

"I've run out of invisible ink..."

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

"I'm afraid Sir, that much would be inaudible."

'Not more junk mail!'

'It's your S.O.S. note returned with spelling corrections on it.'

Post early for Christmas 2010.

"I wish that they would give omg a break. JMJ (Jesus,Mary and Joseph) have a lot more free time."

Studies show that for every hour of time-zone shift, it takes three days to fully reestablish your circadian rhythm. Can't do the math? Here are some handy clues you may have jet-lag!

'Do keep the comments coming, this one is from Will the Miller from Marlow Bottom. . .'

'Can you walk me through this 'snail mail' stuff?'

"Along with the invitations, announcements, and save-the-date cards, I'd like some 'I told you so' cards for people who thought I'd never get married."

The Post Office Is... Forever

'I hate doing Christmas cards!'

Christmas postie!

U. S. POST OFFICE, 'Well, that's enough postage, but just barely.'

'Don't forget your p.s.'

'Mummy said let it drop,there's a good boy..'

"My squaw's no idea how much these messages cost, she thinks firewood grows on trees."

Boy stays on grandpa's 'check list.'

'If the Lord knows each time a sparrow falls to earth, it seems like a Minister of the Gospel could at least remember to mail a few Christmas cards.'

'The post is so unreliable - these days I have to slit birthday card envelopes myself so it looks like i put some money in.'

Semaphore Problems

I don't need a cell phone...I'm going to text message you in the alphabet soup!

'Oh, it's from my new pen pal on the other island.'

'Okay, this time I've added - "How do you rate this message?" with one to five stars.'

"T-E-X-T M-E."

Castaway uses a PC instead of a bottle.