Sms Sender Pillows

'If they install word recognition software in my texting program, I wouldn't have to know how to spell or read. Ain't technology great?'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

I can't smile without you...

"Okay lets go. You can message your friends after dinner."

"I've run out of invisible ink..."

A man on a desert island writes 'Have a nice day' in glass bottles repeatedly.

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

"I'm afraid Sir, that much would be inaudible."

'Not more junk mail!'

Post early for Christmas 2010.

'It's your S.O.S. note returned with spelling corrections on it.'

"I wish that they would give omg a break. JMJ (Jesus,Mary and Joseph) have a lot more free time."

'Can you walk me through this 'snail mail' stuff?'

'Do keep the comments coming, this one is from Will the Miller from Marlow Bottom. . .'

Studies show that for every hour of time-zone shift, it takes three days to fully reestablish your circadian rhythm. Can't do the math? Here are some handy clues you may have jet-lag!

The Post Office Is... Forever

"Along with the invitations, announcements, and save-the-date cards, I'd like some 'I told you so' cards for people who thought I'd never get married."

Christmas postie!

'Between us we've got 2000 Facebook friends, but we only know one person well enough to send us a Christmas card.'

'I hate doing Christmas cards!'

I have 1035 Facebook friends. Do I have to send each one a holiday card?

'Mummy said let it drop,there's a good boy..'

'The post is so unreliable - these days I have to slit birthday card envelopes myself so it looks like i put some money in.'

U. S. POST OFFICE, 'Well, that's enough postage, but just barely.'

"My squaw's no idea how much these messages cost, she thinks firewood grows on trees."

'If the Lord knows each time a sparrow falls to earth, it seems like a Minister of the Gospel could at least remember to mail a few Christmas cards.'

Boy stays on grandpa's 'check list.'

'Don't forget your p.s.'

Semaphore Problems

'Airmail.'

Castaway uses a PC instead of a bottle.

'See, there are thousands of letters, all starting with 'Dear Santa'... Aren't Humans strange?'

"T-E-X-T M-E."