Smorgasbord Seeker Gifts

Market Researchers were advised never to target Labour MPs

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

Jackson Pollock Signs A Rent Check

Woah, This was well worth swapping my flying saucer for!

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

'This is a simple case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Virgil

"Do you get the feeling we're being watched?"

Today is the first day of the rest of your nine lives.

Two men converse secretively

The Paranormal Society...

"Stop the press... we've got an exclusive press release."

'No comment!'

A Boy Visits The Rector To Ask For Some Soup.

"Your new electric car, isn't what I expected."

'I offer a full warranty. If it ever stops, just call me. I'll tell you what time it is.'

"Is there soup on this menu?"

"I'll trade you a banana peel and an apple core for two fish heads."

"She's a rescue."

"You guys have sold me wrong parts three times! Your ad says 'Auto y Rod employees are the friendliest experts in town.' What can we do about this?"

Fortune teller in restaurant says to waiter: 'I'll have the soup of tomorrow, please.'

"I fear he's the bearer of bad news."

'Listen George, my husband is away, this is Brian and I'm due to elope with you tomorrow!'

Reporters on train, ship, and plane disasters.

Political Voodoo Dolls

Reporter on a lead.

'That's better. ... OK, now you may ask your question.'

'It's a limited edition print... strictly limited to the number of people that want it.'