Smooth Operator Pillows

'Fantastic meeting! . . . Just fantastic. Why don't I have my weasels call your weasels.'

Darlene, my beautiful rose, why do you work so hard? Let me take you away from this. I'll build you a house and care for your every need. What? We're out of lentil soup. My files are corrupted. Try upgrading your pickup lines.

You called me? Why're you in your lab coat? Big discovery. Since 1768, the Giacomo Theorem has stated the number of chicks a dude can pick up is inversely proportional to his age. But he was wrong. You mean … He forgot to carry the charm.

'So much for your ability to charm the birds from the trees.'

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

'He's got the sang froid of a man with twice his money.'

'Yes, I did agree to a double date. However, taking two women out at the same time isn't what I expected!'

'Let me take you away from all this — I know a much better bar across the street.'

'Excuse me, but you wouldn't be Gloria Lushbody, would you?'

"Listen, Estella, if you need a study partner, I am well-versed in all major academic areas...with a focus on the teachings of Niccolo Machiavelli. Au revoir, mon amie."

Shaving Accidents

Social butterfly

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

Bryan Ferry

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

'I'll clobber the first joker who ask me if I enjoyed my 'Winter Break'!'

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

Do you mind if my mother joins our little business dinner ? You know what it's like, I don't want people from the office to think I'm sleeping my way to the top.

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

The Language of Love

'I said, 'Left after the bunny slope! Left!'.'

Watch out For Falling Skiers.

'I couldn't afford flowers, but I got a really good deal on Kenny G.'

That's a shame. What's a shame? Did I do something wrong, officer? TSA. Yes, you did. You let your boyfriend turn you down. So what if he's 15,000 miles away in Russia? If I were your man, I'd never let that stop me. I would fly to the ends of the earth for you. This routing ever work for you? Good lord this routine must work for you.

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'