Smoker Savant T-Shirts

Barbeque Silhouette Identifier.

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Bad for you but to die for

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

Merry Christmas.

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

"I can really taste my food since giving up smoking, so I've started again."

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

"I could easily change to a healthier lifestyle, but then I'd live longer and be a burden on my loved ones in my old age."

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

'A lab had me smoking cigarettes for months. I'm living off my disability payments. You?'

Budget Munchies

'Smells good. What is it?'

"So it's agreed then. From now on we're to do our hourse trading in partially smoke-filled rooms."

Vaping cigarette

'I don't mind him smoking in bed. . .But not herrings.'

Nature is not perfect

'Hi, Mom. I volunteered you to bring cookies for snack time at school for every other day!'

"Mr Hudson, could you kindly refrain from smoking in the brain scan machine."

"Teeth cleaned. No questions asked."

"I don't understand why kids' pants have so many pockets."

'We don't get many takers for the smoking section anymore.'

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

'My doctor's fit note suggested a phased return to work. I'll see you for another smoking break tomorrow.'

"Bob sacrifices the first burger to the barbecue gods."

"And you know, realistically, it's much safer than driving."