Smoked Meat Enthusiast T-Shirts

"All I've got left is smoked."

'Steak Ted?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

Important Food Groups

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

Cow of BEEF

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Merry Christmas.

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

Platter confusion.

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

Family Butcher.

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

I don

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"Oooh... bacon!"

"Hmmm... what would Scooby Doo?"

*=Hotdog

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'