Smoke Sniffer Gifts

Canadian wildfires

'Arrest that man, officer. His clothes simply reek of cigarette smoke.'

'Since I'm not old enough to smoke, I thought I'd stand here and inhale. I read that the effects of slash burns are as harmful as cigarettes.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

"When Stan's barbecuing nothings ever 'well done'."

Musical Pipe

"Boy, the Reverend sure has your number."

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

'Is it getting hot in here or is it me!'

"We've come here to smoke."

'Those aren't smoke rings... they're Hawaiian Leis.'

'What we have to do is utilize some pollution control equipment in our manufacturing of pollution control equipment.'

Warning.

'Hey you! You work here, don't you? You people could be in real trouble with the fire marshal for not having any smoke detectors! I assume they make regular inspections around here?'

Well, I don't care if the cuffs are hurting your wrists, sailor boy! I want to know what this green leafy substance is right now!... And maybe we should check that pipe of yours too, huh?

New Year's Resolution - stop smoking.

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

"Gracie, I'm proud of you for reading the newspaper."

The cost of smoking

'It's either a crank call or some idiot's set his loin cloth on fire.'

"That's affirmative. It smells delicious. Over."

'Yes, I do have to sniff every tree. That's how we keep score.'

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

You've developed a seasonal allergy. Go get this prescription filled and DO NOT stop to smell the flowers!

'Another bullseye! What do you think of black poweder guns now, Ben?'

"We're in for a real treat tonight. Freddy's preparing his blackened swordfish."

'As a matter of fact, he quit smoking three years ago.'

Cigarette Ash has made evil face.

'Harlow, perhaps you should go back to SMOKING!'

"Yeah yeah, 'monkey see, monkey do', but your mum is right: do as I say, not as I do!"

'I prefer these imported cigarettes - they don't have a health warning.'

"Dinner isn't ready yet. I haven't heard the smoke alarm go off."

'Looks like Mom is making the chicken extra-crispy again.'