Smartphone Detox Pillows

"I bought hima 450,000 piece jigsaw puzzle. That will keep him off his phone for a few hours."

“It's a tree, sweetie. No need to Google it.”

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Screen Time vs Book Time

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

Hiking sign - Stop, pause, play, skip forward, skip back

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

"Don't open me, you fool!"

America Off-line.

The Smartass Phone

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

Even Superheroes Are Always On Their Phones

Family Time

'My best method for relieving stress is to misplace my cellphone.'

Children's games and technology

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

Four Stages of Communication: Tell, Bell, Cell, Hell.

"Things that make me feel better/Things I'm too tired to do......Things that make me feel worse/Things I do when I'm tired.

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

'Let's have a quiet romantic evening together...we'll turn our cell phones off.'