Smart Home Starter Gifts

"Let's take it step by step. How do I turn it on?"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"You are still here."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

"I am the world's first smart tree."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

"Hey Google, describe the view."

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."

"I'm a home-tech specialist. Your daughter called us. I'm here to convert her doll house into a smart doll house."

'Say - according to our home computer, we're out of bread.'

"My assets consist of a piggy bank, 2 teeth for the tooth fairy, and whatever change I find in the living room sofa."

"I hate this smart refrigerator."

"Question ... what is my motivation to ever leave this armchair?"

"The last vampire who lived in it spared no expense on upgrades. Especially when it comes to the latest technology."

"It's a robo vacuum cleaner."

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

"I'm all for the internet of things - but I hate pop-up ads."

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

"I just got an alert from our smart refrigerator. It's pleading with us to not stick anything else on it."

"How do I turn Alexa off?"

"Shouldn't have bought a touch-screen TV."