Smart Home Setter Gifts

"I am the world's first smart tree."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

The Not-So Smart Meter

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

"You are still here."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

"Hey Google, describe the view."

"I'm a home-tech specialist. Your daughter called us. I'm here to convert her doll house into a smart doll house."

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."

'Say - according to our home computer, we're out of bread.'

"I hate this smart refrigerator."

"Question ... what is my motivation to ever leave this armchair?"

"It's a robo vacuum cleaner."

"I'm all for the internet of things - but I hate pop-up ads."

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

"No, it's not a computer monitor. It's a doggy door. Not everything is technology related."